This Moment
by Sammichbatch
Summary: What could have been said during an encounter with her mother that finally makes Kate see what she needs to see? One-shot carrying on from Knockout.


**This Moment.

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle, these characters, or anything else affiliated with the phenomenal show. I just borrow what I please and use them as I please.

Warning:

Author's note: This was just something that came to mind whilst I was thinking about what to have for lunch... Strange, eh? Anyway, it's un-beta-d, so all mistakes are mine. Just, let me know what you think, or something.

**

**-xo-**_****_

_**Kate... I love you. I love you, Kate.**___

-xo-

M-mum? What's going on?

_Oh sweetie. What have you gotten yourself in to?  
><em>  
>But you're <em>gone<em>. I can see you... that mean I'm... I..?

_Now, now, Katie. Let's not get ourselves worked up just yet. Let's just see if we can get you out of this._

What do you mean? You wan-No mum! I'm not leaving you. I _can't_.

_You don't belong here, it isn't your time, and you know that. Just listen to me._

But I-

_Just listen, we don't have much time. Yes, you were shot at Captain Montgomery's funeral, and yes, since I'm here you're giving in the fight. But you can't, Katie. You hear me? It isn't your time. You don't give up. You don't belong with me yet; you should be with your father, with Rick and his family, the boys at the Precinct._

I can't lose you again.

_You're not losing me. I'm always with you, _always_. But there are people that need you on the other side. People that love and care about you. People that rely and count on you, people that you can help. They need you._

It's so hard. I don't know if I can do it anymore. I'm exhausted. Work is exhausting, Josh is exhausting, and even dad can be exhausting.

_Just as I remember your father. But listen, Katie; you don't give up. Ever since you were a little girl, you never gave up. Take a few weeks from work; heaven knows you have year's worth of sick-leave. As for Josh – you know what you want to do there, sweetie. You don't love him. Not like you should. Not like you deserve. You know I was never one to meddle in your love life unless you came to me, but this time you need it. Wake up and see what's in front of you. Wake up and see what you have that is worth living for._

Rick... He... I told him we were over. He told me that we weren't going to win this, and I told him that we were over. He helped me... coddled me whilst Captain Montgomery was being shot. He told me he was sorry.

_He's been there for you for three years, Katie. He has _always_ been there for you. He loves you. His family adore you. He's good for you. And your father and I approve. Find the things that are worth living for, and don't give up._

I don't know if I can face him mum. After all I said to him, he still tried to save my life. He still stood by my side, as stubbornly as ever. I don't know how to make it up to him.

_I don't think you're going to need to. Do you remember what happened once you were shot?_

There was screaming, but it was faint and muffled in my ears. People were moving everywhere but I was focused on Castle and those eyes. Then things started to fade.

_He told you he loved you. He said it, Kate. After three years, he opened up to you with what he was feeling.  
><em>  
>I was dying... what if... what if he said it just because I was dying?<p>

_Stop trying to make excuses! He loves you, your friends and father love you, and you're damn good at your job. That's four good reasons why you should be there fighting for your life, and not arguing with your mother._

He wants me to walk away from this case, mum. After all this time, he wants me to just walk away!

_He's right. You're scared to find out who you are without it. But if you don't walk away, you're going to hurt the people that love you. It isn't time, Katie._

Mum... I can't.

_You can, and you will. You wouldn't listen to Rick, and look where that has gotten you. Listen to your mother. Let it go for now. Get back on your feet, sort your life out, and then maybe, just maybe, you'll be ready to solve this case fully. Please, do this for me._

I don't think I can do it without you.

_You're not alone. You have your father, you have your friends, you have Rick's family, and more importantly, you have Rick who is going to stand by your side through everything._

I need to do this. I can do this. I can get my life back. I can do this, mum. For you, I can do this.

_That's my girl. Now go show some authority!_

I love you mum, you never forget that, do you?

_Never. I love you too, and I'll always keep an eye over you. Now go!_

-xo-

"Castle?" Kate whimpered. As she tried moving, she was hit with a large surge of pain through her midsection, causing her to groan.

"She's coming back to us, guys!" the ambulance officer called. The ambulance came to a halt at the hospital. Within seconds, the back doors flung open to reveal more medical staff waiting to help.

"I'm here, Kate" Rick assured, letting out the breath he had been holding in since his partner, _his friend_, flat-lined, "I'm here". He jumped out of the ambulance, watching as Kate was carefully taken out before being rushed inside.

-xo-

Rick had lost count of the hours he had waited for Kate to get out of surgery. Within that time, however, Jim Beckett, Ryan and Esposito, Lanie, Martha and Alexis had shown up at the hospital and were waiting in the lounge, waiting for any form of news.

More time passed, and the writer was becoming increasingly frustrated. He paced, he sat, he paced again, he inquired at the front desk, he let out some choice words whilst nearly letting his fist connect with the wall, and he sat again. The boys were keeping him in check, but they knew that there was only so much they could do.

Too many hours later if you asked Kate's friends and family, a doctor in blue scrubs came through double doors and stopped in front of the group.

"Family of Detective Beckett?" he inquired, focusing most of his attention on Jim Beckett, clearly assuming he was the father.

Jim nodded his head calmly, prompting the man to continue. He couldn't trust his voice at that moment.

"We managed to retrieve the bullet and stop the internal bleeding. Due to the nature of the bullet, she's going to be very sore and in recovery for few days. Whoever shot her knew what they wer-"

"When can we see her?" Castle interrupted with determination, barely recognizing his own voice.

"She's going to be out for a while, but we'll let two in at a time" he explained, understanding the man's urgency. He was covered in her blood, after all, the surgeon reasoned.

Everyone looked to Jim and Rick. Wide-eyed, Castle looked around at everyone else. A silent decision had been made. Ryan and Esposito, along with Lanie, Martha, and Alexis just wanted to know that Beckett was going to pull through. Castle _had_ to see her. He needed proof to believe that she had made it.

The three men walked through the halls of the hospital, eyes trained ahead. It seemed like the longest walk of the writer's life as he followed the surgeon, his partner's father beside him.

Entering a room, Rick did a quick sweep before his eyes landed on her. The room looked cold, lifeless, and empty, much like the woman in the bed did. Had it not been for the faint rise and fall of her chest, Castle would have sworn she was dead.

"Take as long as you like, but call someone when she wakes up" the man in the scrubs informed Jim before taking his leave.

This was it; the moment that both Jim and Rick, among countless others, had tried to avoid. The moment that saw Detective Kate Beckett, the best Homicide Detective in the 12th Precinct, at her weakest. The moment that no one hoped to see again.

Absentmindedly, Castle took up residence in the seat on the left side of the bed. Jim stood back. Not because there were no other chairs, but because he knew how important this was for the writer.

"You made it" Rick whispered, "you pulled through. That, Detective Beckett, makes you extraordinary".  
>As gently as ever, he took the woman's left hand and placed it in between his own. He was surprised that it wasn't as cold as it looked. For all the scenes he had written, all the scenarios he had come up with, this one seemed more surreal to him than the rest.<p>

More time passed with still no one paying any attention to just how much. All Castle took note of was how dark it had gotten outside, and even then nothing registered. He hadn't let go of Kate's hand, but he had closed his eyes and leaned down to rest his head gently on the bed next to Kate. At the first signal of something changing, thanks to one of the many machines, Castle's head whipped up, his body following suit immediately.

"Kate? Kate, come back to me" he said tenderly. He started to gently trace his fingers down the side of her face, aiming to get her attention.

"R-rick" was the quiet, groggy reply. The injured detective tried to sit up fraction more, but immense pain coursing through her caused a wince and prevented it from happening.

"It's okai. Just stay down" Rick ordered gently, his hand now running down her hair in a soothing manner. "You're going to be fine."

"Easy for... you to say" choked Kate, attempting to give an eye-roll but opting to close her eyes instead.

"There's my Detective" Rick whispered with a smile.

-xo-

Watching this exchange between his daughter and the man she had come to love, Jim didn't have the heart to interrupt so he silently excused himself, hovering outside the door instead.

-xo-

"You're not going to like this... but doctors orders are for you to stay in here for a few days" Castle explained. His hand was still smoothing down the luscious brown locks, his eyes locked directly on Kate's.

All Kate could do was groan. The last thing she wanted was to remain in the hospital. Sure, she was going to back off from her mum's case for now, but that didn't mean she didn't have other places to be- places that weren't the hospital. Hospital..._ Josh._ She let out another groan.

"I know it doesn't sound fun, but we'll keep you company" the writer grinned.

"Castle... can you... can you go and get Josh? He should be on duty... I need to talk to him" Kate asked quietly. She knew what she had to do and what better place and time to do it.

The grin dropped from Castle's face quicker than it had appeared. Without question, however, he nodded, straightened up, and left the room.

-xo-

"How is she?" asked Jim as he saw Castle exit the room.

"Awake and talking, so that's a good sign" Rick explained, before sighing and adding, "she wants to see Josh... and not from a medical standpoint."

Jim could see the hurt in the writer's eyes, so placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze.

"I don't think that it's what you think, son. Just wait and see" he said sincerely.

Castle nodded and headed off towards the desk to enquire about 'motorcycle boy', or rather, '_doctor_ motorcycle boy'.

-xo-

Shortly after being paged, Josh showed up outside of Kate's room. He was greeted by Jim, and glared at by Rick. They looked as though they were keeping guard, even though there were uniforms standing outside the door too.

Entering the room, Josh rushed straight over to his girlfriend's side. He had heard that she was admitted, but due to the nature of their relationship and the fact that he was wrist deep in someone chest, he was denied operating on her.

"Hey" Kate said quietly. She gave him what she could muster up of a smile, which turned out to be a whisper of a crooked smile.

"Hey yourself" Josh replied quietly, bending down to give her a kiss on the forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I was shot" she deadpanned. She knew what she had to do, and the doctor making nice was not going to make it easy. "I saw my mum, Josh."

The doctor stared at Kate, unsure of what to make of her admission.

"I flat-lined in the ambulance" she said quietly, as if that explained everything. "I was dying, and I saw my mum. She helped me back, on the promise of a few things."

Somehow, Josh knew where this was headed. It had been coming for a while, no matter how much he tried to prevent it.

"I can't do this, _us_, anymore" she whispered, closing her eyes. She was hurting him, and she didn't want to see it.

"Get better" was all Josh said before turning abruptly and leaving the room.

-xo-

Outside of Kate's room, Jim and Rick stood in silence. The writer was thinking up different scenarios of what could be happening inside the room, but before he could complete the one he was one, he heard the door open and Josh come out.

"Just make sure you look after her. She's all yours" the doctor said before retreating.

Castle gave a look of astonishment to Jim before hurrying back to Kate's side. This time he sat on the edge of the bed, taking her hand in his again. He was questioning her silently with his eyes, not wanting to verbally push the matter.

There were a few minutes of silence before someone spoke.

"I told him we were over" Kate finally said. She opened her eyes to see Castle's staring back at her, _in to_ her.

"Kate?" he questioned verbally this time.

"'Nowhere relationships with men you don't love'" the Detective quoted. "I couldn't do it anymore. It wasn't fair to him, to me, or to _you_."

There was an unmistakable gleam in the writer's eyes. Sure, he had always hoped to have his chance with the woman that he loved, but he didn't tell her he loved her because he was pushing for anything to happen between them, he told her because she needed to know. She needed something to hang on to.

"Are you saying...?" Rick whispered, unable to finish his sentence. For someone who made a living with words, he was surely having hard time with them as of late.

"Always" Kate nodded slowly.

With the utmost affection showing across his features, Castle bent down slowly, bringing his lips tenderly to Kate's, kissing her softly and smiling when he felt her kiss back. _This_ was the moment he had always been waiting for.


End file.
